Smile
by Honniing
Summary: Naruto has always loved Sasuke. Therefore he smiles, even when he realises that he doesn't love him back.


Isn't this a surprise guys? Guess who's back! I just wrote this in one sitting trying to get my creative juices flowing again. I've been battling with Silent Whispers for Help for a while, and decided that I need to write some other stuff before I stand a chance at completing that story. This is my first attempt at doing so. Enjoy.

-x-

Short Story: Smile

Naruto had always loved Sasuke.

Since the day Sakura had first pointed him out Naruto maybe.

 _They were seven then._

Or maybe the first time they talked.

 _Seven and a half._

Or the first time they had one of their countless sleepovers.

 _Eight._

Or the first time they hugged.

 _Nine._

It was hard to pinpoint honestly, because when he thought about it he would imagine that the fuzzy feelings overflowing in his chest had always been there when he had been around the raven.

He did know he had loved him for a long time when he finally realized though.

Perhaps because he hadn't wanted to know. After all, his best girl friend, Sakura, did nothing but gush over the raven.

When Naruto finally did realize he had been filled with a giddy feeling, and he had learned that caring for someone so deeply was wonderful. He was excited every time he knew he would get see the raven, _be_ with him. The smallest things would remind him of Sasuke, inspiring a warm smile to worm itself onto his face. Like the time he had been visiting the orphanage he had grown up in and the children proudly showed him the tomato plant they were growing. It looked to be surviving just barely, but their radiant smiles and expectant eyes had him praising them for taking care of it. They insisted he tasted the tomatoes, and as he did visions of Sasuke reaching for the tomatoes in his salads and snatching them away from him before he had time to react was flashing before his eyes.

Naruto had been fifteen when he realized, and following had been months of savouring those feelings and the frequent company of his best friend before he finally had begun craving _more,_ being closer. Nearer. _Touching._

It had been interesting to learn how his body would react when he was standing in the shower or lying in his bed imagining the raven being with him. He watched Sasuke more often, wondering how to bring them closer. Him and sasuke.

Sauske and him.

Not once did it occur to him that Sasuke didn't feel the same.

Not even for a second.

Until suddenly it did.

They had had one of their usual sleepovers, watching some grungy movie about god-knows-what and Naruto had fantasized about how he could initiate something with Sasuke. A pillow fight? A tickle war? Something that morphed into them hugging and kissing and touching. Maybe he would do it that same night? He had been floating on a high of fantasies, and then suddenly he was yanked to the ground by those gruesome words.

" _I think I might have a thing for Sakura."_

Naruto had frozen. Stared. Forgotten to breathe for two full minutes before his vision was beginning to go black and he realized that he couldn't just _stop._ He had taken a deep breath and ignored that twinge in his chest and smiled a smile so bright it hurt the muscles in his face because he _knew._ He had heard Sakura tell him countless times how much she adored Sasuke, and now that Sasuke felt the same way it was only a matter of time.

One month and four days to be exact.

Naruto had watched as Sasuke suddenly was shy, and listen as he asked for advice. Naruto and Sakura had hung out a lot, so of course Naruto was the person to ask for help. Naruto watched Sasuke and Sakura get close, and listened to all the details he couldn't be witness to being recounted by an animated Uchica and his chest twinged painfully and he smiled. Because that was what best friends did. That's what you did for the person you loved the most in the entire world.

Right?

Yes.

And Naruto was content.

He watched his best girl friend and his best guy friend grow closer, weeks turned into months, months turned into years. Finally they bought an apartment together. The sleepovers stopped.

Then the hugs.

Then the talking.

Sometimes they remembered him and invited him with them to the cinema or on a picnic or to dinner in their home. He basket in their presence when they allowed him into their little world. When he wasn't he worked.

He was a businessman. _Imagine_ ; Naruto doing paper work. At one point in time they all would have laughed at the idea, Sasuke and Sakura occasionally laughed about it still but whenever they did, he would gently remind them that he was CEO of his own company that _he_ had founded. Sasuke had been temporarily lost for words when he learned that Naruto was doing even better than _him_ , who had inherited the ancient business tycoon Uchiha corp from his father.

Naruto didn't mind his life in the least. He told himself that he enjoyed working hard and watching his employees grow under him, becoming better, more skilled.

He told himself that he had everything he could ever want, and whenever he found something he didn't have that he found even remotely interesting he bought it, and then he was full again. Accomplished. Successful. _Happy_.

 _Right?_

Right.

 _Cancer._

What?

 _Stage 3._

What?

 _Your chances are very slim._

Oh.

 _I suggest you talk to your family._

They don't want to know.

Naruto sat in his chair staring emptily at the IV drip entering his arm.

Drip drop.

Tick tock.

The time he may not have much left of bleeding away as he sat there.

What would they say if he never told them? Just _went?_ Gone. Forever. Without a word.

Could he just do that to them? Could he do that to _him?_

"Naruto? Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow? We have news for you!" Sakura's excited voice said over the phone and Naruto smiled even though she couldn't see him. Smiling had long since become an automatic response to the horrible burst of pain in his chest. At some point it had been a mere twinge, now it was as if someone was doing their uttermost to yank his heart out.

Maybe not.

Naruto sighed. It was fine. He would come up with something believable to tell them that would allow them to live their happily ever after while he…

While he ceased to live.

At least he could afford to make himself look well. He sat still as the nurse fiddled with his IV, giving him some last injections before he went outside, and while the make-up artist brought the life back to his face.

"Thank you." He said softly, and she smiled kindly at him. _Pitying._ She probably didn't mean to let it show but he could see it nonetheless. It didn't matter. Once he might have been offended by the lack of faith. Now he also pitied himself.

He was dying after all.

"Naruto, there you are" Sakura squealed and Naruto took a deep breath, imperceptibly though, and lunged for the hug, using his willpower more than any strength he possessed at the moment to lift the pink haired girl up and spin her around. He sat her down and lingered with his arms still around her, exerting control he didn't even know he possessed to slow his breathing from the tremendous effort lifting her had been.

"How have you been? its been too long, I swear work is eating me up! Let me look at you!" Naruto said, pushing her to an arm's length, still holding her shoulders.

"You need to tear yourself away from every now and again, Sasuke and I miss you, you know." She said, and just the mention of his name had Naruto smiling brightly.

His smile turned into an indulgent one as she hit his shoulder lightly and ushered him in towards the kitchen, and there he was. Impeccable as always, not a stray of hair out of place, always in that same spiked up hair-do. His eyes were looking, no _piercing,_ Naruto, and this time the smile was genuine, his breath nearly catching in his throat. Perhaps it was dying that suddenly made the ravens usual stoic expression look like it was searching Naruto, testing him, looking for some unknown answer.

It didn't matter.

He walked over to Sasuke and hugged him, not allowing the raven to keep studying his face.

"I'll admit to having missed you too teme. Just this once." Naruto said and pulled away with a wink. Sakura laughed and Sasuke Hn'ed. "So, what are you cooking?"

"Home made ramen." Saukra answered and Naruto knew the girl had wanted to make something else. He looked at Sasuke for a second, their gazes locking. Naruto felt as if the floor was suddenly yanked out from under his feet. He felt dizzy and nauseous all at once and wondered if the nurse had forgotten to administer the anti-nausea medication.

"I need to pee, I forgot to go before leaving home, I know the way." He said hurriedly and rushed to the bathroom where he barely had time to lock the door before he crashed to the hard tiled floor. Luckily it was the kind of floor that made little sound when you fell on it, just a thump, and low enough not to alert the hosts. Naruto rested his face to the cold tiled floor, letting the cold seep into his cheek and temple. It felt good. Did he have a fever? He felt his forehead. No, he didn't think so. Now that he was alone the nauseousness passed in a flashed and Naruto wondered if it was truly his illness making him nauseous, or if it had something to do with the way Sasuke had looked at him.

"Sorry about that guys, I've been testing out this new diet lately, I'm drinking like twice as much as usual it's crazy." Naruto laughed as he returned to the others. They were already sitting at the table, waiting for him.

Sakura laughed.

Was she more giggly than normal?

Sasuke looked at him.

Naruto dared to look back and smiled. It was different from his usual smile, the radiant one. The response to that horrendous tearing in his chest. If he had to compare it to something, he supposed it was like the smile he had smiled when he tasted the tomatoes the kids in that orphanage had grown.

Sasuke's brow furrowed ever so slightly in confusion before the raven looked away.

Naruto shrugged.

"On the phone you told me you have news Sakura-chan?" Naruto hinted, starting up the conversation.

"yes! Omigosh. So. Sasuke do you want to tell him or shall I?" Sakura asked looking at Sasuke with those large loving eyes and Naruto smiled again. Again and again. He always smiled at Sakura.

Sasuke didn't answer.

Didn't even "hn".

Naruto frowned.

 _Was he imagining the cracks?_

"Oh look at him being all shy." Sakura laughed in a silly way.

 _Yes._

"Naruto." Naruto looked at her. "Sasuke proposed."

Sasuke looked tense. His nod was stiff and his smile more a grimace.

 _No._

And for once Naruto didn't smile.

He told himself he was sad that he couldn't be there, at the wedding. He wouldn't be alive then after all. That's what made it sad. That's what made his face contort into such and ugly expression that was trying to be a smile but was anything but.

"Naruto are you-" Sakura tried and Naruto knew he couldn't let her finish her question.

"I'm moving." He croaked out.

Sakura looked confused.

Sasuke looked alarmed.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked sharply. It was the first thing he had said since they had sat down by the dinner table Naruto realised.

He looked at Sasuke again.

"I'm moving." he repeated. "In a week. And I wont make it to your wedding. I'm so sorry." Naruto blurted out in a rush. He could see the gears turning in Sasuke's head, trying to figure out what it meant.

He looked back at Sakura and saw her looking utterly stunned. Her mouth slightly agape and her eyes wider than usual.

"Can't you just buy a plane ticket here for the wedding?" She asked feebly.

"No."

"Why?"

"It's confidential."

"Naruto!"

Naruto laughed. "Sorry Sakura-chan. Work can be merciless. I've decided to branch out."

"No you are not." Sasuke interjected in a deadpan.

Naruto started for a moment before he chuckled. Trust Sasuke to plant spies with the competition, even though said competition was his best friend.

"Of course I am. The reason you don't know yet it that I haven't announced it yet, not even to my personal secretary, let alone the public." Naruto said with ease. He had found his salvation. His reason. There was no way he was giving in that easily.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, probably trying to determine whether Naruto was lying or not.

 _Sorry Sasu, I learned to keep things from you years ago…_

Sakura looked dejected and Naruto gave her a one handed hug from where he was sitting next to her at the table.

"Send me pictures ok? And I'm sorry."

I'm sorry I won't - _can't -_ be there.

Ever again.

"Thank so much for the food, I need to leave now. I have a lot to do lately." Naruto said. I've done what I came for. Now I need to get out before I ruin it.

"You'll see us before you leave?" Sakura asked uncertainly as the three of them stood by the entrance, Naruto dressed and ready to take his leave.

"I'm not sure, I'll text you." Naruto promised and gave her another hug. This one more tender.

"Goodbye Sakura-chan, and congratulations on your wedding." Naruto whispered in her ear before he let go and smiled at her. The last smile he had left in him it felt like. At least the last of _those_ smiles.

He turned to Sasuke intending to give him a similar goodbye, but froze. The Uchiha was looking at him again. His gaze penetrating Naruto's very soul it felt like. It stirred something inside of Naruto. Sasuke had clearly decided to serve Naruto's favourite meal that day, and something was very clearly on his mind.

"Sasuke, a moment outside before I go? Please?" Naruto said.

He needed to know.

Sasuke didn't answer but he followed Naruto out the door and closed it behind himself. He folded his arms and looked at Naruto.

Naruto looked at Sasuke.

"Congratulations." Naruto tried, hoping to start a conversation.

Sasuke didn't reply. He stood stiffly, waiting for the blonde to say more.

"I'm happy for the two of-" Naruto continued, but was cut off by Sasuke's quiet but firm voice.

"No you're not."

Naruto stilled. All the alarm clocks were blaring in his mind; had Sasuke somehow figured it out?

"I had hoped this would push you into pursuing her." Sasuke said evenly and Naruto frowned, before he laughed, actually _laughed._ He threw his head back and let the laughter roll through his chest until he felt exhausted, and the laughter slowly died away by itself.

Sasuke had figured out half of it.

"Naruto I'm serious. I wasn't blind enough not to notice how you slipped away from us little by little after we got together. I know you two will fit better. Sakura and I fight too much. She isn't happy with me, she is just clinging to he childhood dreams, and each time I fail to live up to her impossible expectations she closes off." Sasuke said, and for a second Naruto was stunned. The raven was not one for talking, and he was certain that was the most he'd said to Naruto in _years._

"I'm sorry for being a terribly selfish person," Naruto began "but I will not be pursuing Sakura-chan, I can not change my mind about leaving, and I won't see the two of you again. Ever. I'm sorry." Naruto started turning away, not wanting to give the raven a chance to argue, but his words seemed to have startled the raven into silence.

Naruto hesitated for a second before making up his mind. He took Sasuke's momentary defencelessness as his chance and leaned in. He quickly grabbed Sasuke's neck, not hard, just firm enough to make sure the raven couldn't pull away as their lips made contact. It was a light a lingering kiss, yet it made warm tingles spread all the way to Naruto's toes. He pulled back just a millimetre.

"Goodbye, Sasuke." He whispered against those lips, the ones he had longed for as long as he could remember.

The ones that would never be his.

He dared open his eyes and look into the obsidian ones. He was met with a series of emotions flicking through, undiscernible for anyone but Naruto and maybe Sakura.

Embarrassment.

Confusion.

Suspicion.

Understanding.

And then horror.

And then Naruto was leaving.

Going.

 _Gone._


End file.
